Scene: Julie at the organ at church (filling in) playing prelude music. Tommy comes to the organ before church starts to tell me I was doing a good job (a joke from an earlier conversation). I start practicing one of the songs I have to play, "Ring Out Wild Bells."
Tom: Julie, I will pay you one dollar if you will switch that song from minor to major and play it.
Julie: Uh, no.
Tom: C'mon Julie, it will be the easiest dollar you've ever earned. Just ditch the flat and add a sharp.
Julie: Uh, I'd have to add two sharps and I'm not doing it. I'm just filling in for Suzie and Zelma would have a fit if I pulled that on her during sacrament meeting.
Tom: [blank look]
Julie: What?
Tom: No, I mean just do it right now...before church.
Julie: Right now?
Tom: Yeah.
Julie: Done.
I play "Ring Out Wild Bells" in a major key. No one bats an eye. Tom tosses a dollar on the organ and goes to sit with Mom and Dad.
[Just as a side note, the most public dollar I ever made Tom earn was at a pops concert on the waterfront a few years back. There was a "donkey song" being played by the orchestra and I paid him a dollar to put a blanket over our friend's back and ride on him like he was a donkey in front of our seated row.]
2. Dinner Conversation:
Brian: Tom, just as a word of advice, when you get married--
Tom: --if I get married.
Brian: If you get married, don't ever withhold something from your wife just because she wants it.
Tom: [blank look]
Brian: What?
Tom: Brian, what are you talking about?
Brian: Abby won't let me bite her bicep.
Abby: Honey, that's because this sweater is new and you just ate.
[silence]
Julie: I love how that's the reason she won't let him bite her bicep at the dinner table.
John: Julie, I think that's worthy of your blog.
Julie: I was thinking the exact same thing.
3. The dishes:
Julie: Tom and Brian, I think you should have to do the dishes today.
Brian: What?
Tom: Yeah, what? I totally set the table and grated the cheese for dinner.
Julie: Yeah, only because I threatened you. Plus, I've done the dishes like three times since I got into town and you haven't done them once.
Tom: [gives me his innocent face]
Julie: I'm calling you Dead-beat Tommy the rest of the day.
Mom: Julie, that is not nice. I will do the dishes.
Julie: No you won't. The boys just ate and they need to clean up after themselves. [Boy was I bossy today]
Tom: I do dishes all the time at home.
Julie: That's because you live alone. Mom has fed you all week. The least you can do is do the dishes once.
John: Look guys, I will do the dishes.
Julie: What?
Tom: See, Julie. John will do the dishes.
Julie: And you will help him, Tom.
Tom: Fine.
What actually happened: I washed and rinsed the dishes. Abby dried. Mom put them away. What were the boys doing? Sitting in the living room watching clips of Brian Regan.
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