My problem with confessions these days is that I haven't had a lot of time on my hands with which to get into trouble. Okay, that's not entirely true. I did have this dream the other night that I thought was really funny and randomly shared with my house (and one other - this turned out to be the mistake) and that got me into a lot of trouble--funny trouble, but trouble nonetheless. A few days later I unveiled to a friend a special "talent" and was informed by him that, while "guys will say certain things are awesome [like the talent I just performed], in a way it says 'welcome to the guy club.' But you don't want to be in the guy club...right?" To which I had to stop and think a moment, and then responded, "Sometimes I do, but most of the time I don't." You all know, I grew up with a lot of brothers. I feel comfortable with guys, sometimes more so than with girls. That being said, I got teased by the boys growing up (and even still sometimes now) for girly tastes and tears and so it's just easier sometimes to slip into "brother mode." But lately I've started to realize that it's okay to be a girl. And not only is it okay to be a girl, it's good to be a girl. At least it's good to be the good parts of being a girl.
I still don't love shopping (though I do like to look cute...hard to reconcile the two of those sometimes) or chocolate, two things I feel are somewhat characteristic of being a girl, but I do love me a good Jane Austen or Elizabeth Gaskell book and/or screen adaptation. I can outburp anyone (this is the "talent" I displayed--my mom is always surprised when people (guys especially) are grossed out by this. In fact, she recently said, "It can be pretty impressive." To which I responded, "Mom, I love that you think that." Mom's response: "Well, you know that I try to teach you guys what is proper but I also appreciate all your talents." My dad has also expressed similar sentiments. I love my parents.) and I really like getting dirty when I play sports or work in the yard. I also love a good hot shower and getting clean and smelling pretty and having soft skin. I guess it all balances out. At least I hope it does. All in all, I like being a girl. This is a big step coming from a girl who at one point in life refused to wear anything even remotely pink. (All of this of course has nothing to do with the eternal quality of being female, though it is an interesting discussion for another time.) Thoughts?
I just rewatched Return of the King and cried (not just welled up with tears, but cried) for the last 10 minutes of the movie. This also happened to me when I, for grad school, read The Lord of the Rings in a matter of four days and cried for the last I don't even know how many pages and then sat in my living room and cried for a solid I don't even know how long. I felt exhausted for days afterwards. I don't often cry at the end of movies or books guys expect a girl to, but kill off Dumbledore or send Frodo to Valinor via the Grey Havens leaving Sam behind and I'm a mess.
I wore my pink Chucks all day at work again today. I just don't see the need to change out of my commuting shoes when it's sort of slow and I'm at my desk all day long. It makes me happy, wearing my Chucks.
I hope there's dancing and Candy Cane Jo Jo shakes at Taco Tuesday tonight.
I ran a 7 minute mile last night and then followed it up with several 7:20 miles. It hurt. A lot. But in a good way. I have a goal to run a sub-6 minute mile by the end of the summer. Just one. Just to see if I can relive the glory days of high school again. I'm not sure I know how to make myself hurt quite that badly anymore, though. Anyone want to try with me?
2 comments:
Def. won't be able to do the mileage with you... lo siento. BUT i can relate with LOTR... I was the same. I even tried not reading a bit to prolong it. Part of my hate for change? not sure but I HATE when they all leave in the end!!
my sister is the best burper in my family but my mother hangs her head in shame and says "I've failed as a mother" then all the kids laugh exuberantly.
Post a Comment