A Hodgepodge of Confessions

My problem with confessions these days is that I haven't had a lot of time on my hands with which to get into trouble. Okay, that's not entirely true. I did have this dream the other night that I thought was really funny and randomly shared with my house (and one other - this turned out to be the mistake) and that got me into a lot of trouble--funny trouble, but trouble nonetheless. A few days later I unveiled to a friend a special "talent" and was informed by him that, while "guys will say certain things are awesome [like the talent I just performed], in a way it says 'welcome to the guy club.' But you don't want to be in the guy club...right?" To which I had to stop and think a moment, and then responded, "Sometimes I do, but most of the time I don't." You all know, I grew up with a lot of brothers. I feel comfortable with guys, sometimes more so than with girls. That being said, I got teased by the boys growing up (and even still sometimes now) for girly tastes and tears and so it's just easier sometimes to slip into "brother mode." But lately I've started to realize that it's okay to be a girl. And not only is it okay to be a girl, it's good to be a girl. At least it's good to be the good parts of being a girl.

I still don't love shopping (though I do like to look cute...hard to reconcile the two of those sometimes) or chocolate, two things I feel are somewhat characteristic of being a girl, but I do love me a good Jane Austen or Elizabeth Gaskell book and/or screen adaptation. I can outburp anyone (this is the "talent" I displayed--my mom is always surprised when people (guys especially) are grossed out by this. In fact, she recently said, "It can be pretty impressive." To which I responded, "Mom, I love that you think that." Mom's response: "Well, you know that I try to teach you guys what is proper but I also appreciate all your talents." My dad has also expressed similar sentiments. I love my parents.) and I really like getting dirty when I play sports or work in the yard. I also love a good hot shower and getting clean and smelling pretty and having soft skin. I guess it all balances out. At least I hope it does. All in all, I like being a girl. This is a big step coming from a girl who at one point in life refused to wear anything even remotely pink. (All of this of course has nothing to do with the eternal quality of being female, though it is an interesting discussion for another time.) Thoughts?


I just rewatched Return of the King and cried (not just welled up with tears, but cried) for the last 10 minutes of the movie. This also happened to me when I, for grad school, read The Lord of the Rings in a matter of four days and cried for the last I don't even know how many pages and then sat in my living room and cried for a solid I don't even know how long. I felt exhausted for days afterwards. I don't often cry at the end of movies or books guys expect a girl to, but kill off Dumbledore or send Frodo to Valinor via the Grey Havens leaving Sam behind and I'm a mess.


I wore my pink Chucks all day at work again today. I just don't see the need to change out of my commuting shoes when it's sort of slow and I'm at my desk all day long. It makes me happy, wearing my Chucks.


I hope there's dancing and Candy Cane Jo Jo shakes at Taco Tuesday tonight.

I ran a 7 minute mile last night and then followed it up with several 7:20 miles. It hurt. A lot. But in a good way. I have a goal to run a sub-6 minute mile by the end of the summer. Just one. Just to see if I can relive the glory days of high school again. I'm not sure I know how to make myself hurt quite that badly anymore, though. Anyone want to try with me?

A little this and a bit of that

Things I'd like to do this week:

1. Attend a professional piano performance

2. Play raquetball

3. Take a bath in a bathtub I fit in

4. Dance in my new pink Chucks ------>

5. Make Candy Cane Jo Jo shakes
(maybe while dancing in the kitchen in my Chucks?)

6. Watch a movie I haven't seen under lots of blankets

7. Go to sleep without setting my alarm

I'll take company on all but numbers 3 and 7.

This morning I saw a dude on the metro reading Twilight. I thought that was interesting.

We had a very interesting discussion on ordinances during my temple prep lesson yesterday. I learned something new which was exciting for me.

I danced on Saturday night like I haven't danced in a very long time. I attribute it to the pink Chucks.

I made two very sketchy confessions this week, both of them unintentionally and somewhat unwillingly. I was uncharacteristically uncomfortable and embarrassed during both of them. I am starting to learn both the meaning of and wisdom in tighter boundaries.

My mom and two oldest brothers are coming for a visit in five weeks. I am thrilled.

My marathon is in four weeks.

I have broken the cookie fast once in one week. I consider that a victory.

I've started thinking about turning 30. I'm both excited and a little nervous, but mostly excited.

I'm afraid of clipless pedals, but I'm going to get them anyway--though I can't decide if I want to upgrade my current bike or sell my current bike and get a better one.

I've been thinking it's time to quit the blog once and for all and finish the book. I can't seem to do both at the same time.

I need to plan another trip somewhere. Any suggestions?

The Flying Protector

I got this from my sister-in-law's blog. Thanks, Nat!

Your Superhero Name is The Flying Protector

Your Superpower is Kissing Your Weakness is Body odors Your Weapon is Your Wind Sword Your Mode of Transportation is Rainbow

What's Your Superhero Name?

I have a few comments on this.

1. How did they know my superpower? Their superpower is omniscience.

2. "Body odors" includes cologne, aftershave, soap, and general "boy smell." You know the smell I'm talking about. The one embedded in their sweatshirts that prompts the kidnap of said sweatshirt. It turns into your pajamas until the smell wears off, whereupon you return the item of clothing fully intending to re-kidnap it when it's been washed and worn again. I know, it sounds creepy. That's why it's called a weakness.

3. I'm not exactly sure what a "wind sword" is, but I think it could either be very cool or very bad.

4. I like the idea of traveling on a rainbow.

5. I like the idea of being a flying protector even better.

Your thoughts?

Darn you, Jay

My cookie fast is going just fine. But this morning's gchat conversation with Jay is threatening to submarine me. He started off by asking me what my favorite kind of cookie is (it's like asking a parent which child is their favorite). I tried to answer his questions to the best of my ability and then asked him if he was trying to sabotage my cookie fast. He hadn't read yesterday's blog entry yet, so he didn't know. So he says. He claimed he was just asking the advice of the cookie expert. I'm not convinced.

So then of course that got me thinking.

I used to work at a law firm on 4th Avenue in San Diego, on Banker's Hill right between Hillcrest and Downtown. I hadn't been working there long when one day my boss handed me some cash and sent me to a place on 5th Avenue I had never heard of before--Karen Krasne's Extraordinary Desserts--with instructions to buy half a dozen of their cherry chocolate chip cookies for our office meeting (which I discovered was really an excuse to eat pastries from Karen Krasne's--best job ever).

I can still remember my intimidation at walking into such a high-end dessert shop. In fact, I don't think I had ever set foot in a shop dedicated solely to desserts, unless you count the donut place down in Ocean Beach. But this was nothing like that.

The cookies are in the upper right hand corner of this delicious dessert montage.

The link, if you want a closer look: http://www.extraordinarydesserts.com/cookies.htm

I successfully purchased the goods and made my way back to the office, unsure of how I felt about cherries in my cookies, but willing to give it a try.

The verdict? Best. Cookie. Ever. Perfect moistness, perfect ratio of cookie to chocolate, and the cherries...wow.

If you live in or are visiting San Diego, go to Karen Krasne's. You won't be sorry. Everything there is, well, extraordinary. And if you are there and want to buy me a cookie and send it to me, I won't say no. I'll break my cookie fast for Karen Krasne's.

I'm so weak.

Multiple Confessions

Confession:

Whenever I type the word "marathon" without fail I first type "marathong" and then have to go back and fix it, provided I actually catch my mistake.

What does that say about my typing autopilot?

******

I'm running another marathong in five weeks, March 21. I'm on a cookie fast from now until then in an attempt to fine tune the running machine. I made it through day one (yesterday) without a hitch. I'm also doing fine today. Funny how sometimes the switch just flips and it's not hard at all. Funny how I feel like I have almost no control over when that switch gets flipped. It's like I just wake up one morning and decide. Like yesterday, when I was waking up from a Candy Cane Jo Jo Shake hangover it was really easy to promise myself that no matter how fun the party is, I simply will not partake.

Dumb Trader Joes. Selling Candy Cane Jo Jos for 99 cents long after we thought we were safe from their clutches. Maybe the cookie fast will get harder once I detox, but I think I'm committed.

I think.

I hope.

The shakes really were amazing...

Warm Weather and Dodgeball

This weekend made me so happy for many reasons. First and foremost, I got my "Thursday's Wish" from last week. The granting of this wish was really at the heart of my great weekend. I needed a warm day. God granted me two (going on three).

I milked Saturday for all it was worth. I had a long run in the morning then went on a long-ish bike ride in the afternoon. It was heaven. Coming back on the WO&D trail, there was a wooded area on my left and an open-ish field on my right. The sun was low in the sky, giving off my favorite kind of pre-dusk light, but still high enough to warm my back. I coasted for a moment to just...bask. I really am a solar creature. I can maybe stand another few weeks of winter having had that reprieve but I can hardly wait for real spring.

Saturday night, after my marathon day of exercise, I got to have dinner with a good friend with whom I studied abroad almost four years ago. We met up at our usual place near campus and spent three hours catching up over a disappointingly new menu (how do you take BBQ pulled pork off the menu after 4+ years, I'd like to know), discussing everything from books, to the food bank, to the economy, to foreign affairs, to love affairs, to getting beat up by life. As my friend finished telling me about her past 2 weeks, which, admittedly, were pretty hellacious, she summed it up like this:

"I feel like the last 10 days have been like one big game of dodgeball. And I'm the fat kid with asthma."

It took a moment for the image to settle in, but once it did I just laughed and laughed.

I came home exhausted but so happy. I slept well for the first time in weeks and had a great Sabbath, complete with a peaceful afternoon walk in the warm sunshine. Two glorious days of warmth. I'm grateful for wishes that come true.

I love Jesus but I drink a little...

I like Ellen. She has a great sense of what is funny (she genuinely delights in the ridiculous, which I love) and has great comedic timing to go along with it. This clip made me laugh pretty hard today (the funniest part comes towards the end, but the whole thing is pretty great). It really made me miss my grandma. I love old people with little filter and a lot of sass.

I hope I can be this entertaining when I'm 88.

Thursday's Wish

Thursday's Wish:

For winter to be over.

I have been such a good girl this year. I haven't complained much about the frigid temperatures we've been experiencing this year. I finally bought the right training gear, a proper winter coat, and a hat and this winter has been the most bearable one in my almost six years out east. I told myself the frozen-over Potomac was beautiful; it hasn't done that since my second winter here. I told myself the geese sitting on a sheet of ice, squaking at runners as they ran by, were cute (after I laughed at the thought that maybe they were there because their feet were frozen in the ice or their bums had somehow adhered themselves to the river). I thought the construction cone sitting in the middle of the Tidal Basin was funny. I also thought it was funny when the water in my fuel belt froze through on one of my long runs. I feel so tough training in this. But when I come home from a run and my hair is in icicle dreadlocks...for the fourth straight day... and my skin is bright red even though I have been wearing three layers...and I get caught in a snow downpour and start sliding all over the roads when I'm already really tired of running...and the trail takes a week to de-ice, and even then there are still treacherous patches you can't see until it's too late and you start screaming like a girl and everyone wonders why until they hit the same patch of ice... it's just time for it to be done. I've had my opposition. I'm ready to appreciate spring.

Cherry blossoms, why do you feel so far away?

Speaking of cherry blossoms..... They signify warmth, longer days, the kite festival, and..... a visit from the Mama. And while we're here and blogging and on the topic of the Mama...

Last night I received a Valentine's package from my parents. I opened it to find a container of "Cupid Corn", some Jolly Rancher suckers, and a tube of mascara. I thought a few things: 1. That's nice of Mom to not send me this thing absolutely full of candy; 2. A tube of mascara is a funny thing to send instead of candy; 3. It looks a little beat up...maybe she got it from the dollar bin at Target...I'll give it a shot. I tried it this morning and really liked it.

I called Mom this afternoon to thank her for the package.

"Hi Mom. Kim declared me the mail winner last night since I got your Valentine's Day package. Thanks for the mascara. I tried it this morning and I really liked it." Silence on the other end. "Hello? Mom?"
"I'm here."
"Did you hear what I said? I really like that mascara."
"Well... isn't it yours?"
"What?"
"Didn't you leave it here when you were home for Christmas?"
"No."
"Oh. I sent it to you because I thought it was yours."
"Oh. I thought you sent it to me to fill the package with something other than candy."
"No, I really thought it was yours. It was in the bathroom after you left after Christmas."
"Yeah, now that I'm thinking about it I remember you asked me before I left if it was mine and I told you no."
"Oh. I thought you told me yes."
"No."
"Oh." ... "Did you like the Cupid Corn?"
"Yes, of course. You know I love candy corn. Thank you! I just mentioned the mascara first because I thought it was interesting that you'd send me that and that it was kind of beat up and not in a package or anything."
"No, I just threw it in at the end. The Cupid Corn was supposed to be what you were excited about."
"Oh. Well I am. I was just confused about the mascara. But thanks! They are both great."

We then proceeded to laugh pretty hard (Mom apparently fogged up her glasses because she was laughing so hard she was crying).

Maybe next week I'll tell you about my dad and his wheat milk experiment ... I love my family.

Oh, and if you visited my house this Christmas season and left an orange tube of mascara that looks like this:

Let me know. I'll mail it to you.

Taco Tuesday Confessions - all dried up?

I've been trying to think all day of a really good confession, one along the lines of the one that birthed this blog. But alas, I can't think of any more incriminating confessions that I haven't already blogged about. Is it possible my reserve is all dried up? Have I really become so boring that I haven't created any more confession-worthy experiences? Or am I merely wising up in my propensity to share?

Maybe I should open it up for you to confess for me? Incriminating stories? That could be dangerous. Maybe you all should confess something for a change. (Do I allow anonymous comments on this blog? I don't think so.) Hmmm. What to do, what to do...

On another note: Not confession-worthy, but noteworthy (for me). I know I told many of you I swore I'd never do another marathon, but I decided to make an exception so that I could have a comeback story for myself (of sorts). i've been slowly working my way back for the last three months (well, five months really, but calculated training for the last three).  I finally went on a seriously long run a couple of weeks ago and felt great. It was the first time since August that I really felt like myself health-wise. I was beat, but it was the normal kind of beat. The beat you expect to feel after 18 miles. I felt really grateful that my body has healed completely (one month sooner than the doctor had anticipated even!) and that I'm right on target for a successful race. 7 weeks and counting until the big day. Then the real fun begins. Maybe another race in April (we'll see how this marathon goes), Ragnar Relay in NY in May, triathlon #1 in June, have fun and gear up during July and August for triathlon #2 in September. It's going to be a great race season. I actually have more than one person to train with this time around so it's almost like being part of a team again. It's made me the happiest I've been in a while (athletically speaking, anyway, which I guess does translate to general happiness).

But seriously, refocusing from the side note of the comeback.  Help the blog.  Confess.  Please.