Cherie was in town last week, and the one night I actually got in bed on time so I could run the next morning, she asked me what I think about when I run. I've been running competitively off and on for about 15 years and have logged thousands of miles, and months (maybe years) of time on the road, both alone and with groups. Surely I know what I think about when I run, right? But I still had to think about it. I took a minute and determined that if I'm out of shape, I usually can't stop thinking about how gross I feel and how difficult 8:30 mile pace is and shouldn't be. If I'm in shape, I usually make lists in my head, give myself a hard time about how fast I used to be, and check my form out in the reflection of car and store-front windows. We talked a little bit more about it and exercise in general before we hit the lights. Talking about running always makes me feel tough and so I woke up the next morning feeling pretty good. It didn't hurt that it was only the second time that week I'd actually made it out of bed in time to exercise...
Cherie is now gone (boo-sad) and I'm back on my normal schedule. Sort of. I woke up this morning severely undercommited to the cause. Mondays are always hard running days for me, not because I try to do an ambitious workout, but because I always eat badly on Sundays (what?! it's the perfect cookie day!) and inevitably stay up too late. 5:30 a.m. on Monday morning hurts. I will admit, it's usually one of my rest days for the week, but I'm training for a 10k and this is an important week of training (we're only three weeks away!). So I dragged myself out of bed and kept telling myself I will feel better once I get out the door. Plus, I just spent an obscene amount of money on new running clothes this weekend, so I told myself that I wanted to see how the new socks and shirt would work out, and off I went.
About halfway through my run I remembered my conversation with Cherie and scrolled back through my thoughts on the run. I couldn't help but laugh. They were nothing like what I told her! They were ridiculous, and all over the place. I definitely did not make lists...there is no way my thinking is that linear while I'm running. What was I thinking? By the end of my run I decided to record exactly (more or less) what went on during my 42 minutes and 38 seconds of running this morning:
I hate these stairs. I can never run up them this early in the morning. I wonder if there's anyone lurking in the darkness at the top. I hate these shorts. Why did I wear them? Short run today. I can't wear them tomorrow, I'll die. I should have just taken them back. Oh well, it's dark, no one can see just how short they are. Okay, time to start running. [sigh] You know, it's probably not that safe for me to be running in the street. I swear it should be lighter than this. Did I read my clock wrong? No, it's after 6. Why's it so dark? Oh, daylight savings is soon. Is it this month or next month? It might be next month. Halloween is on a Friday. Next month. I wish it was sooner. I don't like it being dark so late in the morning. Is that a person over there? What is he doing lurking....oh, waiting for the bus. "Good morning." Hmm, he looks awake. What's my pace? This is supposed to be an easy day. Slow down. Tomorrow's going to be miserable if you don't--ugh, I hate doing interval workouts in the morning. Maybe I can do it after work. But then Wednesday morning's going to suck. Throws my whole schedule off. Lame, I'll have to do it in the morning. Hmmm, do I want to go up the Ridge this morning or go the long way around? It's two miles around it but I feel pretty good. And I don't really feel like running that hill this morning. Yeah, I'll just go around it. My shins are hurting a little...and my knee. Ugh. I really should be stretching my calves more. I hope they warm up. These socks are awesome. I can't even feel the blister on my foot. I wonder, though, if this shirt was really worth the $35 I just spent on it. I hate spending money on running clothes. How long have I been running? 20 minutes? I should be sweating a lot by now. Oh, I am. Well done, NikeFit! This shirt is awesome! I should get one more. Man, I really need a haircut or for my hair to grow faster. This is driving me nuts. Another dude on the side of the road. What is he doing? Ah, waiting for a bus. "Good morning." Why does that make me so nervous? Arg. I hate red lights. Go green already. I wonder, is it really dumb to jaywalk across Glebe when it's still this dark? Oh well, my shirt has reflectors on it. The trail is still closed? What are they building in the river anyway? I hate running along Glebe. Oh, that truck better not have been honking at me. [sigh] Really, did that cyclist have to pass me on the right? That's really dangerous! Jerk. I hope he was able to see me. I have reflectors on the back of this shirt, right? Okay, how am I going to work more hope into my life? How am I going to make work good today? Can I switch jobs yet? [sigh] I have to choose to be happy. I only get one shot at mortality. Oh, this was a good choice. Look at that sunrise. Beautiful. I love this. Oh, my shins have finally loosened up. Why is my shoulder still hurting, though? [cough!] Did I just swallow that gnat?! Why are they out this early? Oh. Water treatment plant. Nasty. Dude, keep your eyes to yourself. Honestly. These shorts might be too short. I really need to do a little more lifting. Today should be a heavy day since my run is so short. It's feeling better than last week, though. Maybe the lifting is finaly doing something. 30 minutes, less than 2 miles to go. Rock on. I'm getting faster. Maybe I won't embarrass myself at this 10k. I'd really like to be fast again. How was I so much faster in high school? Hmm. More interval workouts...but it's so hard to do a quality one alone. I could join Potomac Runners...but spending that much money just to run with someone...there's got to be another way. Just run harder, Julie. Not today! Tomorrow. Tomorrow is intervals. More lifting. I need more weights. Dude, I used to be so buff. Oooh, is Kabob Palace on fire? Whew! No, the fire trucks are at CVS. Oh sick, McDonald's, nasty, I can smell the grease from here. Another red light? Ugh. So close to home. If I take really good care of this shirt I might not have to replace it for a long time. How old are my oldest shorts? I bought them my senior year of cross country...10 years! No way! Okay, today I need to pay my cell phone bill, credit card bill, car payment, buy plane tickets for Thanksgiving...that's going to be expensive. Man I feel good today. I think I'm finally getting back into shape. 5 miles, 42:38. Not bad for an easy day.
See why I laughed? I'm sure there must have been other productive thinking somewhere in there, but this is all I could remember. Clearly I am most grumpy at the beginning of my run (no surprise there), but I am always so glad by the end that I made it out. I sometimes wish I still had my high school running schedule (1:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.) but alas, I must work for the man. So 5:30 a.m. to 7:30 a.m. it is! The upside is the sunrises are beautiful.
What do you think about when you exercise, or any other time when your body is active and your mind is free to wander?
Here are some pictures from my glory days. I really want to be this tough again.
Central Park Invitational 1996Huntington Beach, CA
Cross Country Season 1997.What I wouldn't give to look like that again...
I'm pretty sure I was thinking about winning.
7 comments:
Man! My runs will never be the same! Now I will feel compelled to document my thoughts, as well. Well.....at least for one run. :)
With 11 children, 9 daughters or son-in-laws, 34 grandchildren, one husband, 3 visiting teaching sisters,6 rowdy Primary kids, half a dozen Seminary students I get to sub for...that gives me about 30 seconds to contempt my relationships and goals concerning each one of them with a minute or so leftover to divert my thoughts to the neighborhood attack dog behind that (thank goodness)sturdy fence, watch for cars as I cross Lotus St. and avoid timed sprinklers. Gotta love running!
Julie your blog is awesome. I laughed as I read your disjointed thought process because it sounds so similar to mine!
I always have this pychological trick I play with myself to get moving at the beginning. No matter what, the first mile sucks, right? Even more so if it's dark, a little chilly, I'd much rather be sleeping. . . So, when I first set out I have to give myself a pep talk. It goes something like this:
"It's okay Rach, if you don't feel good at mile 3, we'll just make it a 5k and come on home. Anyone can make it 3 miles, no matter how slow it is!"
Without fail, by mile 3, I'm starting to warm up and reaching that zone where I feel like I can run forever so I laugh as I get to mile 4 and keep goin! :)
After the psych-out works and I'm still moving, I plan church lessons, plan projects I'm involved with at the kids' school, sometimes I'll create a new class format for a step class or cycoing class, think through my schedule, and try to remember what else I'm forgetting. . . .
And yes, watching the sunrise or the glowing Harvest moon drop slowly into the West, makes it all worth it!
I have to admit that this gives me hope. SOMEDAY I might be able to get past those first NASTY miles and actually get hooked on running. I always feel like a failure when I hear about people figuring out the next Nobel-worthy idea or the great American novel while on their daily run. Running for me is NOT multi-tasking. Not yet anyway :D Thanks for the insight. Our visit was too short, but heavenly. Back to reality!
hahaha. Not one thought about boys the whole time julies, that's insane!!! Pretty sure whenever i run that's what i think about. pretty sure whenever i don't run that's also what i think about (also, i just think about one boy now, don't worry). :) hee hee
Janey, it's not so much that I didn't think about boys this morning so much as I chose not to sell myself out. The thoughts were there. Shame on me for censoring. :) This is, after all, first and foremost a confessional blog...
Running? What's that? My inability to remember the last time I went running is probably what's also responsible for the extra 25 pounds I'm carrying around right now. So the last time I remember getting on my treadmill, it was to work on my book and so it went something like...I wonder what would happen if...(jump onto the side rails and write down brilliant thought--jump back on treadmill, get back into a rythym and go another half mile before another brilliant thought forces me onto the side rails so I can write it down. I'm not sure how far I ran that day, but it produced at least a chapter's worth of information. Here's to many more runs and best sellers!
I definitely have my thoughts going all over the place like you do! In fact, when we would go running together--I seem to remember our conversation following that same pattern! :) I think I usually think about the day or the week, or upcoming events. I plan and visulaize things in my head, and make jokes--that keeps me going! :) Thanks for sharing!
Post a Comment