Once There Was a Snowman

This isn't really a confession. Well, yes it sort of is. But it's about my family as a whole, not myself as an individual. Well, I guess since I'm part of my family, and participate and even initiate, it is an individual indictment. But it's also collective. Mostly collective.

Mom says no one should know about this game while I'm still single, and has forbade us kids from playing it around any unsuspecting male I may bring home until I'm safely married to him. However, today I'm feeling a little nostalgic and I'm missing my brothers and sister a little bit, so I'm going to rat out the family.

I don't remember when this game debued, but I remember who introduced it. Scott. Who else? It was before Megan (Scott's fourth child) was born, so it was Scott and Wendy and their three, very active boys. All under the age of 4. Seriously. I don't actually know that for a fact, but there's not a lot of space between the kids, so they were all very young at the same time. I think the unveiling was at a family home evening. Family home evening tradition is first, an opening song, then opening prayer, then talent performances. Everyone had to share a talent, whether it was to tell about a good grade they received, played something from their music lesson that week, or sang a song. It was good performance practice for us, and Mom and Dad felt like they were getting a return on their investments (at least as far as music lessons were concerned). Then we'd have a lesson, then games, then treats. This was our format, with rare deviations, if any.

You'd think this "game" would have been introduced during the game portion of FHE. No, no. It was Scott's family's "performance" when they were visiting one Monday evening. It goes something like this. You all know the song. In case you don't, let me post what the church's website has on this song:

“Once There Was a Snowman,” Children’s Songbook of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, 249

Playfully

Once there was a snowman, snowman, snowman,
Once there was a snowman, tall, tall, tall.
In the sun he melted, melted, melted.
In the sun he melted, small, small, small.

Improvise actions as suggested by the words.

When looked at in a Bradshaw context, the italicized portions of this excerpt are particularly hilarious: The song is to be sung "playfully" and singers are to "Improvise actions as suggested by the words." In primary, we crouch "reverently" in front of our chairs, beginning as a small ball, then grow tall, and then shrink back to small. Usually the majority of the primary is lying on the ground by the end of the song (or at least that's how it was in ours). So when Scott told us they were going to perform "Once there was a snowman," this is what we expected. Little did we know a new Bradshaw family tradition would be born out of what we actually saw.

They all stood up in a circle. Scott started them off: "oooooooonce there was a snowman, snowman, snowman..." but instead of staying stationary, they ran around the living room as fast as they could in a circle. They sang the entire song together at top speed, racing around the living room, and when they finally got to "small, small, small," it turned into wrestlemania: the kids were bodychecking each other and putting each other in headlocks, finally ending in a heap in the middle of the floor. It was hilarious.

A few months later a larger group of the family was together. I forget the occasion. It's not important. It was sort of a chaotic day; family night was falling apart with kids everywhere, and finally we gave up on any sort of order and moved onto the games. Well, Scott and his kids were there and requested we play "Once there was a snowman." The other grandkids didn't know what this was, but they quickly caught on. Pretty soon we had a full blown mini-WWF ring in our little living room. Slowly, while laughing at the situation, the adults stood up and started hanging around the edges of the room. This is usually an indicator in our house that more than one person wants to do something, but no one is willing to take the initiative. Everyone sort of hangs out until one person says, "let's do it," and then everyone's on board, just like that. So, the circling/lingering had begun and finally someone said, "Okay, this time it's an adults-only round." The mothers quickly grabbed their little ones and pulled them onto the couches out of harm's way (in theory - the living room really isn't that big). All of us circled around and waited for Scott to start singing: "ooooooooonce there was a snowman, snowman, snowman..." The entire house shook with the force of 5 or 6 grownups running in circles, arms pumping above their heads. We got to the end ("small, small, small") and I wasn't sure what was going to happen; my brothers and I are not kid-sized anymore. I wondered what sort of mischief would end the song, what piece of furniture would break, who would take out the TV, etc. I didn't have much time to think about it. The last "small" was yelled and the shoving started immediately, everyone a little bit uncertain as to how violent this game was going to turn. Shoving turned to bodychecking. Someone went down hard and before I knew it, my shirt was tugged forcefully and I was sinking towards the bottom of a very large pile of boys. As I tried to worm my way out (screaming for Mom the whole time), I felt someone grab my ankle and pull me back in. There was no escaping. Finally Mom called an end to it, afraid Brian (who was on the bottom) was going to be crushed. Her fear was probably not unfounded.

Now anytime we get together, we have to play at least once. We have a separate kids' round - we don't want them to get hurt playing with us - and really the only point is to not end up on the bottom. Bonus points if you end up on top. It seems, however, that usually someone is marked at the beginning of the game. No one says a word, but somehow everyone picks the same person. Well, almost everyone. Unfortunately for Brian, for years it was him at the bottom. ("You have been chosen!") I remember the day he got big enough to finally win one round! As the years have gone on, the shoving starts earlier and earlier in the song until someone reigns the group back in...

Some pictures to help you visualize the madness.

This picture was taken about 10 years ago. Notice how David has his hand on my shoulder, ready to take me down the moment we utter the last "small."

Here I am neither winning nor losing, merely surviving. Brian and James are not so lucky this round. Since Dad is holding a video camera, I'm presuming there is footage of this somewhere.

This picture was taken about 6 years ago. I'm pretty sure Brian (winning on top - quite gracefully, I might add) had just kicked me in the head.

Apologies in advance to any potential suitors. We don't expect you to play the first visit to our home. However, you are expected to fully participate in Christmas caroling. Winter Wonderland, anyone?