Adventures in Marriage

Dave and I have been married for 37 days. You wouldn't think a lot could happen in those 37 days, but I'm kind of amazed. Now that all the wedding events are officially over (minus the writing and sending thank you notes part of it), and I can finally take a breath or two, I'm actually kind of amazed we made it through it all with our sanity intact. It was just as hard as I anticipated it would be without my mom, but it wasn't nearly as sad as I thought it would be. I felt her close by all the time--truly a gift from God--even at our little open house in San Diego this past weekend. I know I married the right man because instead of feeling burdened by my sadness, he shared in it. He mourns not knowing Mom in the flesh, but instinctively knows what I've inherited from her and compliments me on it regularly. Who is this guy?!

As we were falling into bed last night after a LONG trip back from San Diego, Dave wondered aloud what life was going to look like now that we weren't planning wedding events. I honestly had no idea. I responded, "Do you think the yard work will be as satisfying now that it's not wedding planning avoidance?" He laughed. We were not laughing at 5:30 this morning, however, when we were roused by the need for Dave's c-section skills. I guess this is what real life looks like. Oh, and the fact that we are speaking in church in three weeks. And the fact that I'm trying to organize the garage enough for us to park our cars in it this summer. And the fact that it looks like a bomb went off in there and I'm in here blogging. Without dinner being made. With Dave on his way home from work.

BUT. The lunches in the park make it all worth it. And the going to sleep and waking up next to your favorite person in the world part of it. And the cracking up over things that shouldn't be cracked up over but you do it anyway. And the moony-eyed looks I get along with the cutest little boy smirk that tells me he's thinking about how lucky he feels to be married to me. And the fact that I let myself feel that love. And that I feel the same way. All the time.

I had no idea marriage could be so good. By no means is our relationship perfect. This is not going to become a "seriously so blessed" blog. I promise. I mean, I snap at Dave when I get tired. I cry when things get hard. I withdraw sometimes when I don't want to be emotionally vulnerable. But he lets me snap at him and doesn't take it personally, just like Mom used to. He tells me he's absorbent when I start to cry and holds me. And he demands connection instead of withdrawal when I start to go to my dark place. But sometimes I pour out my heart to his deep breathing. Sometimes the 2012 election coverage acts as a silencer to my scheduling reminders or honey-do requests. So it's not perfect. Nope. But it's seriously so much better than I ever thought it could be. Especially now that we have a white noise maker and have divvied up the covers. (Someone snores and is a cover hog.) And have made it clear whose side of the bed is whose. (It's not that easy to adjust to sharing after years of solo queen bed sleeping, people!) And have firmly established that neither of us is going anywhere.