Meh

I know I've been blogging a lot lately but work has been slow and I've been feeling a little sassy. The sassiness caught up with me, though, and turned to a really foul mood sometime last night. I don't get in these moods very often, but when I do I hate it. I don't like feeling icky. I usually do everything in my power to squash it right away. Yesterday, however, I wallowed in the sick delight of a rotten mood for about an hour--tops--and then I was done. Maybe it's the indulgence that did me in...

I was doing mostly fine until I came home last night and started watching Hotel Rwanda. It's been on my list to see for forever, but it has always felt like one of those movies I needed to watch while someone holds me. I always want to watch those kinds of movies, but feel so vulnerable and sad during and after. Hence the need for human touch. Well, I really decided that three years was long enough to wait so I sucked it up and started watching it by myself. I think that's where I went wrong. I should never be allowed to watch these kinds of movies alone in my room with pop tarts (my current comfort food, and, last night, my dinner)...

I only got through about 20 minutes before I had to head to institute. By then I was beat from the day (when you get up at 5:30 it feels like bedtime should be around 8...) and not in the mood to have a somewhat remedial conversation about truth and revelation. Me=grumpy. I went home in a bad mood, went to bed in a bad mood, and woke up in a bad mood. I almost didn't go running this morning, but I knew to skip that was to subject myself to yet another reason to be disgusted with the day. So I went. Usually that is enough to dispel the mood. No dice. So I tried praying. Eh, marginal return (it was pretty proportional to my effort, really). I got a ride to the metro this morning. Nada. I got to work to discovery the tech guys had finally replaced my mouse. My pleasure lasted about as long as it took for me to discover that I no longer had to cajole my mouse to do its job. Once that was ascertained, my joy dissapated as I remembered I was at work. Zip.

I'm not sure what it's going to take. Maybe I need that hug after all. And maybe a kiss. And, while whoever's doing the hugging and kissing is at it, maybe a cookie as well.