Recycled. Again.

Change. I like it; I crave it. And I resist it. Paradoxical? Maybe. Let me 'splain.

Change I resist:

1. Taco Tuesday-D.C. Edition: It began as a simple little dinner with me, Jane, and Laura Cannon and ended in a firey ball of hot oil (with Laura still faithfully stirring the beans). Our little family grew over the course of the next few months, newbies dropped in and out, but the core remained. Now?...now [sigh] the band is breaking up. Ali and Lincoln are heading to CA for the rest of the summer, Jane has gone and gotten herself engaged and will soon be adios-ing and, well, Taco Tuesday will never quite be the same. My inner-circle continues to depart, slowly but surely. Suddenly, I feel as if I am the last woman standing. It's no secret: when I love, I love deeply, and when bonds of friendship are formed, they are firm and loyal. So when changes occur (even happy changes) that change the dyanmic of those friendships, of course I feel a sense of loss. That kind of change is hard.

2. My deskmate at work just got moved to the third floor. Now I sit alone at a job I already dislike, left to entertain only myself. We were kind of like those two old muppets who sat in the box seats with their running commentary. They needed each other in order to be funny. I am now one old muppet guy, left alone in the box seat. Email just doesn't have the same kind of rhythm. [sigh] I guess #2 is really the same as #1 in this category...I'm kind of a predictable creature.

Change I embrace:

1. Hair color: I'm tired (yet again) of my hair. I always hated the red the girl put in it (grrr). Now that my hair is growing out, my original light brown/dark blonde color is clashing magnificently with this reddish hue that I detest so much, making it look like this yucky, mousy brown. I will be blonde again by the end of the week. My family will be pleased. Now if only I would grow my hair back out, they would really be pleased. But it just isn't going to happen. I tried. I felt ugly. I'm keeping it short. Sorry to disappoint.

2. Purging material possessions: This weekend I got rid of all the books in my room that I hate. I know, I know. Hate is a strong word. Here's the thing. A load of them were for this cultural studies course I had to take in grad school. The books we had to read could have been essays and made their points more effectively, and yet each author eked out 100+ pages so that they could charge poor grad students $20 to read about and potentially legitimize their ideas. I will admit, some of the class discussions were actually pretty interesting. Sadly, during my undergraduate career I mastered the art of skipping my way around books I didn't want to read, reading just enough in the right places to arm myself with enough information to get by. I didn't read one lousy book in its entirety that entire semester and ended up being one of the star students. I rocked an A and felt totally guilty about it. However, I did write an awesome paper on romantic comedies, so my guilt is slightly assuaged. Anyway, I convinced myself that I might really be interested in reading about reality television or a pseudo-utopian society in Florida when I wasn't both working and going to school full time, so I hung onto them. Every single book. But really folks, who am I kidding? I'm never going to read them. And having them on my shelf is just a reminder of the work I didn't do over two years ago. Therefore, they are being donated to a library so that people who actually care about popular culture, Foucault and Adorno can read to their heart's content. I am not one of those people.

3. Food choices: I have recently grown tired of all foods but cookies, smoothies, fruit leather and kabobs. Lately fried food has been strangely alluring. This craving is not normal. I need more variety in my diet with minimal impact on my time.

4. Educational opportunities: I feel the itch to return to school...