Believe me, I did not expect that I would ever reveal a pregnancy only 8 weeks along. Everything you're taught says WAIT. But when you're expecting triplets, your uterus measures 10-12 weeks bigger than that of a woman carrying a singleton. So I basically look 20 weeks pregnant. I'm already in maternity clothes. The cat is out of the bag.
I asked our perinatologist today what the likelihood of us losing one or more of these little guys is. He said that they are all measuring well and the hearts are beating strong, so of course there is a chance, but it's pretty slight. Once those hearts start beating, they usually stay beating. The biggest risk really is preterm labor. That, and the situation of the identicals. We aren't sure if they are sharing the same placenta yet (fingers crossed that they aren't). They have separate sacs, which is good, but separate placentas would be even better. We'll find out at our 12 weeks appointment. So here we are. Some of you would like to know how we got here. Well, I'll give you the short version.
It took us a while to get pregnant, as anyone following my other blog knows. We finally had our success with interuterine insemination (which is not the same as in vitro, btw). With insemination, I had to take a certain drug for five days to stimulate my ovaries to produce mature eggs. Then, at day 11, I had an ultrasound to confirm that the drug had worked. We found that it had produced two mature eggs, both of which would likely be released when Dave gave me the shot to trigger them. Then, 36 hours later, Dave produced a...sample...which they spun (to get rid of the duds--every guy has them) and washed (to let them swim a little easier). Then our doctor inserted a catheter into my uterus and VIOLA! 15 minutes later they were at their destination.
When we had our ultrasound before the insemination, our doctor asked us how we felt about multiples. We had discussed it and felt twins would be okay. I just assumed that since there were only two follicles, we would end up with two babies at the most. I did not anticipate one of the eggs splitting to give us a set of identical twins along with one fraternal...
I knew I was pregnant the night before I took a test. I was so sick, and I was only 3.5 weeks! I assumed I was having twins if I was feeling it that early, but we wouldn't know for a few weeks. Finally, six weeks came around and Dave and I decided to head down to the clinic on Saturday morning of conference weekend.
It felt so surreptitious, being at the clinic after hours, peeking to see what was in store for us. I had a feeling in my heart we would have twins. I was so confident that when we saw two sacs, I was completely unfazed Of course, what my untrained eye did NOT pick up on was that one sac was twice as large as the other. When Dave said triplets, I looked at him to detect the, "Just kidding!" in his eyes. But there was no joke there. Just bafflement. I burst into tears. Well, I said a bad word. THEN I burst into tears. He burst out laughing. I guess you either laugh or cry in that situation. I made him take me over to the hospital immediately and have our fertility doc do another ultrasound to confirm. Thankfully he was on call that day and not busy. His machine was better, but all it did was give us a better picture of the three yolk sacs that were about to turn into real babies with real heartbeats.
I spent the next week in shock. Denial. Dread. These were not feelings I anticipated having about being pregnant. We had worked so hard to get pregnant, and now I was wishing I could undo it all. How could I possibly love three babies at once? Feed three babies at once? Sleep when there were three babies who needed me? Adding insult to injury, as I entered my sixth week of pregnancy, I was SO sick. I mean, I could hardly move. I slept and slept and slept. I wanted to eat, but I couldn't. I don't throw up ever, so I just laid there wishing I could. When I voiced this to Dave, he said, "Honey, pregnant ladies don't feel better when they throw up. It's not like having the flu. When you throw up pregnant, you just throw up." So I stopped wishing I could throw up and just suffered in silence.
I had three rough days and then finally a break in the clouds. I had an appointment with Dave to have a mole removed from my back later that week so I dragged myself to the clinic. After the procedure, Dave suggested we have a look to see if we could see heartbeats (it was about the time we could). We did an abdominal ultrasound and it looked as if there were just two yolk sacs there. We looked at each other and breathed a sigh of relief. TWINS. "We're down to twins," he said. It felt so manageable. For the first time in almost a week, I felt excited about being pregnant again. I had three really good days. And then, the sickness returned.
I hit 7 weeks and I could. not. move. I was so sick. As sick as I felt when we thought we were having triplets. So Dave and I headed down to the clinic after hours again to take another look, fearing that Baby C may have just been hiding. Here is the video of that night:
I cried myself to sleep AGAIN. But David, being the wonderful man he is, started giving me a list of all the reasons why it is great that this is happening the way it is. By the end, I started to think that maybe someday I wouldn't dread this. I woke up the next morning with an abiding peace, remembering that these are going to turn into people who I will love and adore and WANT.
So, the goal is to make it to 33 weeks, which is mid-April. I'm eating as much as I possibly can and have my requisite 2 hour nap almost daily. I can't run anymore (not enough blood to go around), so I walk the dog every morning and will probably find myself in the pool later this week if I can bring myself to get into a maternity swimsuit. I read triplet blogs and make lists of things I'll need and things I can do to make our lives easier. Someday I may have energy to paint the room we are going to use as the nursery, but that may have to wait until my second trimester. We would like to take a babymoon, but I'm not really allowed on my feet after 20 weeks, so our window is pretty limited. Basically, I will have about 8 weeks where I'm allowed/able to be productive. Then it's back to reading books and blogging (and eating...always eating--blah).
So, here we go. I'm going to continue the record of this journey on a new blog entitled "Taco Tuesday Confessions: Triplet Addition." (Get it? Edition/Addition? Sigh...) The triplet blogs I have used as resources have been invaluable, so I'd like to pay it forward. Even just knowing I'm not alone has been so comforting. So, I may occasionally blog here, but bookmark http://tacotuesdaytriplets.blogspot.com/ if you want to keep up to date and see all the belly pictures you all have been asking for already...
Prayers, if you're willing. Love to you all.